Being in your thirties as a lady is of major concern to the society if you are still single. Despites the pressure, I decided not to wallow on the timeframe of others to have a date fix for my wedding. Even though l get some judgemental eyebrows or stares, l choose to remain calm.

If l was told l would still be single at this age l would have winked an ugly face. Life has been on the waves of capturing the moment and am like swimming according to the downs and ups of it . Even though have been pressured to be ringed as a result of being the first child in my mother’s womb, l still believe l need more time to sort myself out first before accommodating a stranger.
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There was a time l turned to date any man introduced to me in order to capture the likeness of my fellow concerned spectators…. As expected, none had a future rhythm, they all played according to the temporarily notes at the moment. I don’t blame them because they must have been caught up in the pressurized mood.

Mom sometimes came to my room around 2am to ask why l am still single and any discussion from family and church members are constantly asking the same question- When will you get married? I either reply with a smile or frown. This approach can be so devastating and no one seems to care about my own plans about life , all they were interested in was for me to settle down and have children. Is life all about having kids and husband? A question l needed to deal with every single day.

The same question made me to do some prophetic assignments, met prophets for prayers to break anything that seem like a curse. This circumstance can make you think that there is something wrong with you and at some point l stopped attending weddings so l will not be reminded of my agony.

Social media was not also friendly , each timeline was either a proposal or a wedding dates. I felt so much pain and as a result l became desperate, it was like life to every woman was centred around her marital status.

However, in the midst of all these , l had to ask myself what l really needed in life as a lady in her thirties, Do l really want to get married or get to know myself first? I had to be honest because in my twenties l did not really know who l was .

Answering this question made me eliminates all the pressurized thoughts l compiled for years, it gave me a chance to ventilates my life. l had to make up my mind to own my personality and to find out what l want to live for and remembered for …. It is in all these that l realized l have been missing out in the real deal of life. I had this peace and It was a beautiful experience and is still is

I am no longer worried about the future, l am no longer meeting prophets for prayers or answering questions on who l will marry or when my marriage will take place. Sometimes l laugh at some of the sacrifices l did in the past and guess what, l am still single ( sai).

I liberated myself from the pressures of society by loving who l am, l love the fact that l am single and l also love being called Ma, no wahala. Even though my younger sister chooses to get married before me, it is simply okay, l have given up the fight and l just want things to work out on God’s plan.

Meanwhile, I never wanted to be a person labelled pretty, tagged along with a crowd of motherly virtues and a wife to a man, l want so much more. Many women have lost themselves in the pool of marital responsibility and l sincerely don’t want to be among these fellows.

I really had to know who l am and do what l love doing before the marital affairs come knocking… I knew if l did not deal with these flaws in their specifics, they will never make me feel my existence.

I am now happy that l am finding my way, owning my voice and doing what l love, in so doing any man that will be offered the acceptance form will know his not marrying me in pieces but in wholeness.

A lady in her thirties can be categorized as being old but if she dies at this age, will she still be tagged an old Lady ? . After being pressurized into marriage and raising kids, what next ? Questions we should all ask ourselves.

*FIND YOURSELF

Mercy Obot