Life at 30s: A Lady Narrates Her Story
Oma Jim expresses gratitude for not rushing into marriage in her 20s, as she’s now experiencing incredible connections and encounters in her 30s that have brought new joy and fulfillment to her life.
According to her , when she was in her twenties, she had a narrow and idealistic view of what she wanted in a partner – someone from a specific region, with certain qualifications, and strong religious beliefs. But all these ideologies changed when she encountered life at 30s, as she traveled and met people from different backgrounds. Oma later realized how limiting her criteria were.
Her journey started when she lost her dad and brother and her mum was left at home alone. She desperately needed a supporting system for her mum, this is when she had to rely on a medical doctor she had met few months ago to check on her mum while she was far away.
This man actually showed up for her in her darkest moments when others turned her down, and she realized that shared values and reliability mattered more than superficial qualities.
“He left his job immediately I called him and drove 4 hours journey to be there with my mum while I was on my way.”
Oma also revealed in her thirties she started meeting men who shared her values and goals. It is at this moment she learned that a successful relationship isn’t about race, tribe, or religion, but about finding someone who understands and supports you.
she also realized she was beginning to know her values and acknowledging not every good relationship leads to marriage.
“Three years after my father died, I had been cheated on, betrayed, made mockery of by people I thought would have my back.
” I started seeing where I was getting it wrong… I understood my values, my family dynamics, my life goals and my current journey. These were the beginning of my growth.
“I started meeting the kind of friends, people and started meeting people who shares similar values with me.
“For instance- Imagine calling your boyfriend “my boss sent me a last minute errand so I’m travelling tomorrow” and he says, don’t worry, I will drop you off at the airport before I go to the office.
“Imagine turning on your phone after your plane lands and the first call that enters your phone is from him telling you he has asked one of his friends to pick you up from the airport because he was still busy at the shop.
“Imagine visiting his family and everyone is excited to meet you and treating you special. His family has an event and they included you in the plans and bought you the family uniform… A GIRLFRIEND IN NIGERIA!
“Your mom was sick at night and you were worried because you’re not in town, and he asks you “is she at home?
“Then he is driving from his house by 12:am to pick up your mom and take her to the hospital and stay with them till 3am before he went back home because he would resume work the next day.
“Imagine having bitter arguments with someone that understands conflict resolution, someone who wants the relationship to work.
“Imagine being with someone you can plan a business with, share business ideas and seal deals together, someone you feel safe with…
“I started meeting these categories of men in my 30s and I learnt lessons like.
” I do not need a partner from a particular race or tribe or region, or religious ideology,
It’s about a person who shares similar values with me.
“I know a typical Nigerian that doesn’t think, is reading this post and be like “why didn’t you marry them na” because the only thing in you people’s head is marry marry marry… nothing else
“Many things can end a beautiful relationship.
Genotype, distance, choices to have or not to have children, mental health issues, psychological disorders, terminal ailments or worst death.
“So yes, a person might be good for you but not every relationship would end in marriage.
“Some relationships happen for you to heal from all the traumas you have dated,
Some happen for you to grow or to make you experience feelings you never know existed and to make you meet different personalities.
“Some relationships happens to make you see the bigger picture and remind you that your spec of partner actually exists.
“My 20s were for exploration and mistakes, my 30s for growth and building, and my 40s and 50s for solidifying what I’ve built. I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, and I’m proud of the person I’ve become,” she narrated.
To Oma Jim, life at 30s is a transformative phase that will introduce a lady to a whole new world of incredible people and experiences, broadening her horizons and enriching her life in ways she never thought possible.
