Asking Men sensitive questions is imperative because most Ladies have found themselves in the lion’s den because they didn’t ask sensitive questions and extract the truth from their husbands during courtship.
This would have been my cup of tea if I didn’t interrogate a guy who engaged me years ago. Through our conversation, I found out he was still legally married to his wife because he didnt dissolute the marriage eventhough they were separated for years.
I also got to know he had two kids and I was in shock. He was at the verge of seeing my parents and thank God I found out the truth and all marriage arrangements were kept on hold.
Endeavour to ask your man some imperative questions that will give you direction on where you are going to. Especially if he is in his thirties or forties, find out if he has been married before? If yes, has he legally divorced the lady?
Find out if he has a child and how many are there…My sister, if he has a child or children already, find out if you are emotionally mature enough to be a step mother and the fact that your children will have another siblings from another woman.
Ask certain questions and be honest with yourself before treading that path of being a step mother to another child or being a second wife to a divorcé.
Don’t wait for him to tell you his past, dig it up and find out if there are some seeds he sowed that will traumatize you in your marital future. Men won’t just tell you their past, you have to ask sensitive questions to have a feel of it.
You can as well ask if he is bisexual too..Just ask questions that you know you will not be able to deal with when it manifests in marriage..
Go beyond your trails of emotion Sister, and start asking men the following sensitive questions..
Through research from relationship expert like Stephan Labossiere and other marriage coaches, these questions will aid in your marital Journey.
1.) Ask Your man his sexual desires and needs.
As a Christian , we are overwhelmed with spirituality that most times we forget that the man of God we are planning to get married to has a gentile organ that sings hallelujah. Go beyond his speaking in tongues and ask of his sexual desires. He might be a masochist or one who has a compulsive sexual behaviour.
Most men of God had a life before giving their lives to Christ and they are still work in progress so it is important you ask them these questions to have a glimpse of what you are getting your self into, especially if you are operating with the policy of ” No Sex Before Marriage”
- Find out what he hopes to expect from you sexually.
- What type of sexual desires he enjoys most and find out the specific act of sex?
- Ask yourself if you will be able to cope with his sexual activities and sexual frequencies.
2.)Who would be his bigger priority, you or his Mother?
This question is important because there are some mothers who take delight in running their sons’ marriages and in this scenario, if your man does not set proper boundaries to protect you from his mother or any family member, you are in for a bumpy ride.
If a man consistently chooses his mother’s needs over you in marriage, sister, this is a red flag because some mothers will use this to their own advantage and manipulate you in the process. So it is important to ask this question to reveal his mindset.
Find out the kind of relationship he has with his mother and what kind of mother she is.
There are some marriages that are facing afflictions because of the interference of the mother in-law. Dialogue with your man on how to avoid such problematic situation so that both of you can thrive in your relationship.
3.) What is his relationship with money?
There are three aspects you have to look at and they are as follows:
a.) Is he a spender or a saver?
-Does he have expensive thirst, Is he more frugal? There will be a huge conflict if you are a big spender and he also has the same habit. When this happens, it is important you dialogue on a financial structure to meet up essential needs first before doing any other thing.
b.)Find out the kind of debt he is carrying? There are some men in heavy debt because of past financial situations. Find out how much he is owing and so on.
c.) Find out his credit score? This has to do with his earnings. Remember this fluntuates and it can change any time due to some circumstances.
4.) What is his vision of success? Women are fun of thinking that there are untapped potentials in a man and so they hope that the man will eventually grow to become better. But the truth is, this hope may or may not be realized.
It is important you ask to get clarity of where he is going to by finding out his level of contentment in the relationship. Find out his future aspirations and if you are comfortable with it. Will he be able to stretch and meet up your own view of success or does he have a limit of success he wishes to attain.
5.) How will we handle conflict? When it comes to disagreement or intense situation, have a dialogue on how to settle your conflict with each other. Handling conflict between both you may be through counseling, dialoguing or any other means of effective communication that will lead to harmony.
6.) Does he want kids and how many?
7.) How will he view your role in the marriage?Get to know the expectations he desires from you as his future wife. Find out the roles he will be playing as a husband as well.
8.) What are his emotional needs?It is important you find what makes him feel happy, fulfilled, or at peace. Knowing his emotional needs is a necessity.
9.) What are the deal breakers? This means the things that will truly destroy the marital affair if it happens. It can be infidelity, physical appearances, imprudent, addiction to drugs, alcoholism, brutality etc.
Asking Men sensitive questions will aid you to know who they are and enable you to make the right choice of partner.